Traumatic Experience

Stories – as an explanation of what was lived through/seen
go to steps

When is it needed?

the child is worried about something;
the child’s behavior has changed;
the child witnessed a conflict;
experienced a traumatic event, grief (violence, illness, life threat, someone’s death).

How to do it?

(steps with prompts at each stage)

Step I. Ask the child:

When you remember the old unpleasant event, what picture comes to your mind?
When you recall the longest moment of the incident, what do you think about yourself?

Attention! If the child does not want to answer questions, do not force them. Start creating the story yourself.

Phrases that must not be said to a child during the conversation:

You have to be strong
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill
You’re already old enough for this
Other kids aren’t afraid of this
These are just childish fears
That was a long time ago, why remember it?
You’re just tired
Now is not the time for such conversations
It’s just your imagination
It’s your own fault
You shouldn’t have been so naive
What’s wrong with you?
You’re acting like a baby
You’re just too sensitive
You must forget about it
You need to come to terms with it
You’re just overthinking
That’s just nonsense
It’s all your fantasy
There’s nothing to worry about that much
It wasn’t that bad
I never left you
It doesn’t hurt
There’s nothing to be afraid of
You can’t think like that, it’s nonsense
Why were you so inattentive?
What are you making up, what did you imagine?
Pull yourself together
Don’t cry
But you upset me
You terribly disappointed me

The child has the right to a subjective perception of the situation.

Step II. Beginning of the story

Once upon a time, there lived a…
His name was…
He did everything the same as everyone…
first he…,
then…,
and then…,
and after that…

We begin with a positive situation “Everything was good…”, forming in the child a sense of safety.

Choose the main character: fairy-tale or real?
Identification. The main character has similar traits to the child, but so the child can freely distance from the main character, the name should be different.
Discuss and draw in detail: what the hero sees, hears, touches; what smells he feels, tastes (what favorite treat), bodily sensations (what he feels in the stomach, in the head…)
If it’s a too burdensome situation, then the story can be told in several versions with different emotional load: at first, the acting figure can be, say, a flower – a sunflower; a few days later, telling this same story, you can come closer by choosing a human character.

Realistic Characters

1. Petryk, a brave boy

Appearance: dark hair, big green eyes, dimples on his cheeks.
Personality: curious, loves adventures, always helps friends.

2. Marta, a kind girl

Appearance: blonde hair, blue eyes, always wears a red ribbon in her hair.
Personality: empathetic, loves reading books, always ready to listen to others.

3. Maksymko, a little dreamer

Appearance: red-haired, curly, wears glasses.
Personality: imagines himself as a superhero, loves drawing, a bit shy.

4. Olenka, a little explorer

Appearance: short chestnut hair, always wears colorful socks.
Personality: loves nature, explores everything around her, asks many questions.

5. Arsen, a young inventor

Appearance: dark hair, always in a blue baseball cap.
Personality: interested in technology, builds models, loves experimenting.

6. Sofiyka, a little dancer

Appearance: long hair tied in a ponytail, wears a ballet tutu.
Personality: loves dancing, cheerful, always in motion.

7. Ivanko, a cheerful boy

Appearance: light brown hair, a bright smile.
Personality: loves laughing, telling jokes, playing football.

8. Katrya, a little artist

Appearance: short hair with colorful clips.
Personality: loves drawing, dreamy, very creative.

9. Andriyko, a little musician

Appearance: blonde hair, always with a small guitar.
Personality: loves playing instruments, singing, has a good sense of rhythm.

10. Mykolka, a little traveler - Appearance: dark hair, always with a backpack. - Personality: loves traveling, telling stories about his adventures.

These characters can be used to create therapeutic stories where they face various difficulties, experience emotions similar to those the child feels, and learn to overcome them.

Fantasy Characters

Here are some examples of fantasy characters for creating therapeutic stories:

1. Forest Gnome Green

Appearance: small, with a beard, wears a green cap.
Personality: wise, friendly, knows many forest secrets.

2. Fairy Lily

Appearance: tiny with wings, wears a flower dress.
Personality: kind, always ready to help, has magical healing dust.

3. Little Dragon Toby

Appearance: small dragon, bright green, with wings.
Personality: curious, a bit shy but very brave.

4. Elf Ariel

Appearance: tall, with pointed ears, dressed in elvish clothes.
Personality: cheerful, quick, loves singing songs.

5. Mavka Marichka

Appearance: a girl with long hair, covered in flowers and leaves.
Personality: protects nature, wise, loves dancing.

6. Wizard Alfred

Appearance: an old man with a long beard, wears a robe and a hat.
Personality: wise, calm, always knows how to solve a problem.

7. Water Spirit Droplet

Appearance: small water spirit, looks like a drop of water.
Personality: playful, loves splashing and playing in water.

8. Warrior Cat Murczyk

Appearance: large cat with a sword and helmet.
Personality: brave, protector of the weak, always ready for battle.

9. Witch Greta on a Broom

Appearance: small witch with a pointed hat, wears a black dress.
Personality: a bit clumsy, but very kind and wants to help others.

10. Flying Pony Peggy - Appearance: small pony with wings, shiny. - Personality: cheerful, loves adventures, helps anyone in need.

11. Giant Bob - Appearance: large, with kind eyes, wears simple clothes. - Personality: a bit clumsy but very kind and protects his friends.

12. Little Troll Trixie - Appearance: small, with green skin, a funny nose. - Personality: mischievous, loves jokes, always seeks adventure.

13. Princess Dawn - Appearance: beautiful girl with golden hair, wears a crown. - Personality: just, wise, always ready to help her kingdom.

14. Gnome Blacksmith Nikita - Appearance: short, strong, with a beard and hammer. - Personality: hardworking, a bit grumpy, but with a big heart.

15. Magical Unicorn Star - Appearance: white unicorn with a sparkling horn. - Personality: gentle, kind, has magical abilities that help heal.

These fantasy characters will help the child immerse themselves in a magical world and find ways to overcome their fears and problems.

Step III. Something happens

Difficult situation – the worst image, the hardest episode, oppressive thought (“I…”);
description of an unpleasant feeling (“Unfortunately, this can happen to a child/animal…”)
Once…
Suddenly…

Step IV. What does the hero do

And then…

Ask the child: What opinion did he/she have?

Step V. Something goes wrong

However…

Step VI. Then…

Then…
Our hero tries to solve the problem.
(Actively act, become stronger every day, ask someone for help…)
Ways of solving, way out, active participation of the child, positive feeling, good opinion, which helps to reduce the burden.
(“I…”)

Important!

Maintain accuracy in details: Indicate who did what, when, and where.
Let the child describe the situation while drawing: Encourage them to talk about the smells, tastes, sensations, and thoughts associated with the situation.
Explain to the child that physical reactions such as freezing, screaming, crying, or running away, as well as emotions like fear, aggression, or confusion, are natural in difficult situations. The body reacts this way to protect the hero.

Step VII. End of the story

Finally…
(everything was resolved, or not, but the hero became stronger, gained experience)
New positive state. Strengthening the feeling of safety, good mood.

#Секция с примером поощрительных фраз (иконка сердца или звезды )

Phrases you can say to a child at the end of a therapeutic story they created themselves:

I hear you and understand that this is hard for you.
Your feelings are absolutely normal. Anyone can feel the same in similar situations.
It’s important for me to know how you feel.
You’re not alone in this. I’m here to support you.
Don’t rush your feelings. If you’re not ready to talk about it, I understand.
You might be feeling many different emotions, and all of them matter.
Talking about this might seem difficult, but I’ll help you get through it.
We can talk as long as you want, but it’s up to you how much you want to share.
You have the right to feel safe and protected.
I’m proud of how you’re talking about your feelings.

These phrases will support the child after sharing their experience and help them feel understood and supported.

What to do when a child avoids co-creating a story

Option 1

Everything the child says is accepted.
Result: maximum enjoyment and maximum effort from the parents.

Child says	Parents say
Regarding the idea “I don’t know” Says nothing	Thought… I don’t know what to do. Sat down and thought again. Head was… empty. There wasn’t a single thought. But I want to have some kind of idea, who could help me?
Regarding the hero’s name “I don’t know” “You tell me”	The hero’s name was I D O N T K N O W Y O U T E L L M E. What an amazing name. Create a story about how it happened that this is what he was named.
Hero’s description I don’t know Don’t want to talk I don’t care	There was a hero not big / not small, he always didn’t care / he never wanted to say anything. And that was his feature. Sometimes it was good, sometimes bad. And once it happened that…
What sounds did he hear Silent I don’t know	Then he heard, but didn’t hear anything. Didn’t know what he heard. Maybe someone needs help?
Child becomes irritated, dissatisfied or says: “I don’t want anymore”	The hero suddenly felt some irritation and thought: “I don’t want anymore,” and then decided that today was enough and that he needed to find another activity / game. And that’s all. The end of the story.

Option 2

Ask again. But only once! Many children perceive repeated questions as something very intrusive, these questions can provoke irritation or unwillingness, and the child will show a defensive reaction. Perhaps on this day it’s better for you to finish the story yourself.

Option 3

Continue telling the story yourself. Many children need more time, encouragement, and support before they dare to join in the storytelling. You can take a break and set aside your communication for a while, but it’s important to sense the duration of this break (not too short and not too long).

Option 4

Offer the child different options to choose from – this makes storytelling easier, or offer a discussion, and the child will decide whether to continue telling the story.

Key to successful creation of a therapeutic story

Support and safety:
It is important to create a safe and supportive environment for the child. The therapist or adult should ensure that the child feels their emotions and feelings are important and will be respected.
Understanding and support:
Find out why the child avoids it. Perhaps they don’t feel comfortable, are worried, or are simply not ready to talk. It’s important to show empathy and support for their feelings.
Providing choice:
Offer the child to choose how they want to start the story. For example, let them choose the main character, the setting, or the beginning of the plot. The child can choose elements of the story such as the main character, the scene, the sequence of events, etc. This helps the child feel in control and encourages active participation in the therapy process.
Facilitating convenience:
Approach the storytelling process in a way that is comfortable for the child. For example, allow them to tell the story orally or using toys they like, while you draw the story. This will allow the child to see their story from the outside.
Gradual involvement:
If the child is worried, give them time to adapt to the idea. Start with simpler tasks or stories that don’t require much emotional involvement.
Expression of feelings:
It’s important to gently encourage the child to express their feelings, emotions, and thoughts in the story. This helps them feel supported and understood.
Positive reinforcement:
Praise the child for any attempts or ideas, even if they’re not yet ready for active participation. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to try again.
Story adaptation:
The story can be adapted according to the child’s age and developmental level. For example, younger children may use more visual elements or fairy-tale characters, while older children may want a more direct approach to the situation.
Development of new skills:
The story may include elements that help develop new strategies or emotion management skills. For example, the story’s hero might show how they seek support, regain self-confidence, or develop strategies to overcome fear or anxiety.
Gradual introduction of information:
It’s important to avoid overloading the child with information that could be traumatic. The therapist must manage the process so the child gradually expresses and understands their feelings without becoming overwhelmed.
Avoiding coercion:
Do not force the child to participate. This can lead to stress and withdrawal. Instead, try to create an environment where the child feels comfortable and interested.
Working with a professional:
If the child consistently avoids participation in therapeutic stories or other emotional development activities, consultation with a psychologist or therapist may be needed to identify the reason and find effective approaches.

Therapeutic Story Scenario: Petya and the Magic Elevator (up to 8 years old)

Step I: Establishing Contact

go to steps

Ask the child:

When you remember an old unpleasant event, what picture comes to your mind?
When you remember the worst moment of that event, what do you think about yourself?

Attention! If the child does not want to answer the questions, do not force them. Start creating the story yourself.

Phrases that should not be said to the child during the conversation:

Don’t be afraid
You can’t think like that, it’s nonsense
What are you making up, what are you imagining?
Pull yourself together
Don’t cry
But you upset me
You terribly disappointed me

Principle: the child has the right to subjective perception of the situation.

Step II: Beginning of the Story

Once upon a time, there was a boy. His name was Petya. He did everything he did every day: first, he woke up, then had breakfast, and then went to school/kindergarten. Everything was fine, and Petya felt safe.

Elements:

Start with a positive situation to form a sense of safety in the child.
Choose the main character: in this case, it is a real boy, Petya.
Identification: the main character has features similar to the child, but the name is different to allow freedom of distancing.
Discuss and draw in detail: what the hero sees, hears, feels to the touch; what smells he experiences, tastes (what favorite treat), bodily sensations (what he feels in the stomach, in the head…).

Step III: Burdensome Situation

One day, Petya went with his mother to visit his grandmother, who lived on the tenth floor of a tall building. Everything was fine until they approached the elevator. Suddenly, Petya felt a strong fear and did not want to enter the elevator. He remembered an old unpleasant episode when he once got stuck in an elevator for a few minutes.

Step IV: What the Hero Does

And so, Petya decided not to take the elevator and told his mother. The mother saw his fear and decided to help. They sat on a bench near the entrance, and the mother began to tell a story about a magic elevator.

Ask the child: “What opinion did you have?”

Step V: Something Goes Wrong

However, Petya still felt fear, even after his mother’s story. He thought that he would not be able to overcome his fear.

Step VI: Solving the Problem

Then Petya decided to try imagining that the elevator was a magical transport leading him to a fantasy world. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and imagined that he was flying into a magical world where kind fairies and brave knights lived. Petya felt stronger and braver. He dared to enter the elevator with his mother.

The elevator rose gently, and when the door opened on the tenth floor, Petya stepped out with his mother with a smile. He overcame his fear and felt like a real hero.

Ask the child: “What do you think Petya felt at that moment?”

Step VII: Positive Ending

Since then, Petya always used the elevator, imagining new adventures in the magical world. He was no longer afraid but, on the contrary, looked forward to new exciting journeys with the magic elevator.

Conclusion:

Our hero learned to overcome his fear by taking action and imagining positive moments. This helped him feel stronger and more confident in himself.

7 May 2025

Scenario: Key - Traumatic Experience